Love vs. Obsession: Why do we experience both?

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Difference between Love and Obsession

For teenagers and young adults, it may be asking too much to identify the difference between love and obsession. As much as some might hate to hear it, what some of these people feel is more of an obsession than spiritual love. There’s nothing wrong with admiring or loving a person at such an early age, in fact it is a nice experience as it can get you ready for your future relationship challenges. But sometimes too much admiration can lead to an obsession and this lends really more to a case to case basis than a blanket definition. For arguments sake, let’s try and differentiate the two shall we?

When It’s Love

To get a clearer picture as to what the difference between love and obsession is, let’s start by defining them separately. Love is an emotion felt for people that hold great importance in one’s life such as family, friends, that special someone, your favorite pet and your wonder at the beauty of the world. It is a feeling that drives you to do whatever is deemed necessary to keep loved ones happy at all times. Obsession, on the other hand, can be given the same meaning but is not as healthy as love. You already knew that the obsessing feeling is more commonly felt for a special person not someone in your family. Now this turns out to be an obsession when that special person is the only thing you think about while forgetting to do other important things that life demands. One becomes consumed by the lack of having that person be and do the things you wish for. It is essentially a wish to control another person. 


Now that we have an understanding of the difference between love and obsession, you must realize that understanding it will not necessarily prevent obsession from happening to you. Sometimes, some feelings just pop up out of nowhere and even though you are aware that you are obsessing, you still continue to let things be this way and decide to fall into an even deeper obsession. A classic example is jealousy. Once jealousy is factored in, a certain obsessing and attaching feeling takes place and next thing you know, your whole world is about that person. 

Tipping the Scale

It is important that a proper balance be maintained when you love a person or want to be in love with a person. Usually there’s a passive partner and an active partner. We all play in this dance. The critical factor is to keep a close check of your emotions. If you feel that you are winning or losing isn't as important as the inner knowledge that the relationship is the right thing for you to be experiencing right now. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned by the relationship and the love felt can be shallow or deep. Marital love should be in the deep waters while learning experiences are often colored with obsession and highs and lows. True love is satisfying and is meant to last. It’s like chocolate cake. Do you crave it like crazy and get a total rush from eating it or does it give you a mellow feeling of satisfaction that doesn't need to overindulge because it will always be there for you to enjoy. 


  • Love and obsession are two feelings teenagers and young adults commonly get confused about.
  • Love is a feeling of care for people that hold great importance in your life such as family, friends and that special partner.
  • Love is satisfying and is always there for you.
  • Obsession is turning love into something unhealthy by devoting almost a hundred percent of your day’s time thinking about that person and doing things for them.
  • Love can turn to an obsessing feeling when not checked properly, so it is important for you to check yourself from time to time.


comments 2 Comments

  • Chas . 3+ yrs. ago

You have this down pretty well. Are you a professional?

  • Audrey . 3+ yrs. ago

My partner gets realy freaked out when i talk to guys,he does'nt want to know whether they are family or friends..he gets furious and speaks violently i get so scared that 1 day he might hit it because he loves me or has it turned to an obsession

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